A husband working abroad wrote to his wife...
Dear Sweetheart,

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending you 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart.

Your loving husband,


His wife replied...


Sweetheart Dearest,

Thanks for the 100 kisses, below is the list of expenses I paid with the kisses...

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man agreed not to diconnect us only after 7 kisses.
3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items hope you understand...
5. Other expenses 40 kisses.

Please don't worry about me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance...

Shall I plan the same for next month? Please Advice!!!

Your Sweet Heart,

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

She: Don't you think a little common sense would prevent many divorces?

He: Why, I'm sure that it would keep people from getting married in the first place!

Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired
stock trader said …

“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”

LOVE IS LIFE

LOVE IS LIFE
LIFE IS WIFE
WIFE IS KNIFE

and
KNIFE IS DANGEROUS

When We Get Married

Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy : It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.

Girl : Well that is because we aren’t married yet.

Any Way For Long Life...

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help ?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Great Sayings On Marriage

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

- David Bissonette
*********

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

- Sacha Gui try
*********

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

- Hemant Joshi
*********

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates
*********

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

- Dumas
*********

The great question.... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want ?

- Sigmund Freud
*********

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

- Sam Kinison

Signs You Have Had Too Much Of The 90's

You try to enter your password on the microwave.

You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in a year.

You have a list of fifteen phone numbers to reach your family of three.

Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play that you most despised.

Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen.

You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date...and now sells for half the price you paid.

Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

You consider second day air delivery painfully slow.

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.